The problem with externalizing your problems is that you cannot fix them.
“You make me so angry.”
“Why do women have to be so immodest?”
“Elevators make me so anxious!”
These are not problems that you can fix, because they are not within your circle of influence. They will only make you angry, frustrated, and powerless. (You will feel THOSE emotions inside of you, and act aggressively or defensively to protect yourself from this perceived external threat)
“His actions reminded me that I have an anger problem.”
“Her body reminded me that I have a lust problem.”
“Elevators remind me that I may have a problem with enclosed spaces.”
…these are all problems that you can work on, because they are located within your circle of influence: yourself. Don’t blame your 💩 on others. Own it. Work on it. That is the only way that you can begin to change for the better!